How We've Always Been
by Obiwanakin
Summary: After a bitter argument with Sanji, Zoro turns to alcohol to ease his troubles. (nonpirate au)


_"Just leave."_

The bottle trembles in your hand as his words echo over and over in your ears. Quickly, you take another few swallows of gin to drown them out. The bottle is draining quickly, but you have another in a black plastic bag next to you on the cold hard ground of the alleyway you've slumped yourself in.

_"I fucking mean it, Zoro! Get out!"_

A sob rips through your chest and out of your throat before you have a chance to silence it. You'd never been able to accept your own emotions, your own tears. Now look where that had gotten you. In a damp alley outside of a liquor store next to heaps of foul-smelling garbage.

_Fierce blue eyes wide with anger. "GO!"_

You'd tried to convince Sanji to let you stay. God, how you'd tried. However, nothing could appease the blonde after the argument you two had stirred. In the end, you could only admit how right the other man had been.

_"You're like a stone. What's the damn point of calling this a relationship if you never even show me how you feel?" Sanji had questioned._

_"Sanji-"_

_"No, I'm done this time. I've done nothing but show you I care and for what? Fight after fight after fucking fight."_

_"But it's what we _do._" You protested meekly._

Wrong answer.

_"Christ, Zoro, have you ever considered that maybe that's not how things should be? Is it some big spectacular mystery why I'd maybe want a _happy_ relationship?"_

Another sob and another quick slug of gin. You were so sure that Sanji _was_ happy. They'd always been this way. You just didn't know when the playful banter had stopped being in jest and had become meant to cut and harm.

_Sanji's words struck a cord with you and suddenly you wanted to hurt him just as he was hurting you. You wanted to do damage. You wanted the final blow._ _"Then maybe this isn't the relationship for you, asshole." _

_Sanji stared at you flabbergasted, as if maybe he hadn't expected you to go that far. The shock didn't last long and soon his expression melted into one of finality and frustration. "I think you're right. I think you should go."_

_The air felt like it'd been knocked from your lungs."Wait, Sanji, I didn't mean-"_

_"I fucking mean it, Zoro! Get out!"_

_"Please, wait-"_

_"GO!"_

_Your shoulders slumped and your heart fell to your feet. Or maybe it hadn't. Your heart was glaring at you and had yelled for you to get out of his house. "I'm sorry..." You muttered, unable to look Sanji in the eye._

And so you'd turned and left. You'd headed straight for the nearest liquor store and collapsed brokenhearted in an alley next to it with a bag full of gin and a chest that felt totally vacant. You'd say you're drowning your sorrows but truthfully you feel next to nothing now.

Finishing the bottle off, you chuck it over at a nearby pile of garbage, unable to even wince as it shatters to the ground, missing the garbage pile in your inebriated state. You stand on wobbling legs, attempting to wrestle the other bottle of gin out of the plastic bag as you rise. The bag finally falls to the ground and you grin drunkenly in triumph before twisting the cap off and taking a victorious gulp. Now you no longer felt like sitting. You felt a bit cold- what you could feel, anyway- and decide to wander the nighttime streets.

Not like anyone is missing you after all.

So wander you do. Stumbling from the alley onto the sidewalk, you yank the hood of your jacket up to cover your cold ears. Besides, green hair was less likely to be spotted than a raised hood by cops looking to throw away drunks. Or so you'd found based upon your own experience.

You make it to the first crosswalk and decide to make your way across the street, too far gone to bother checking for vehicles. After all, it was nearly midnight and you weren't likely to even see any cars around this hour. You walk along the white striped walkway obliviously. You glance to the left when you're about halfway across, hearing a sudden, obnoxious honk when you're blinded by two bright headlights. You laugh a little to yourself as the car jets toward you. At least if you live there's some sweet insurance money in it for you, maybe you could buy Sanji something nic-

You're yanked back and you fall ass-first to the hard asphalt, your bottle shattering against the pavement with a splash of lost gin. Stunned, you merely stare as the oncoming car zooms by in front of you. Then you hear his voice.

"You _ASSHOLE_! What the hell were you thinking?!"

You splay your hands out on the ground behind you and turn to look up. You can't help but smile a bit dopily as your foggy eyes meet Sanji's. "Y'saved me." You slur, the alcohol throwing off the movement of your tongue along with the rest of you.

"Of course, you weren't thinking, were you?. You went out and got positively shitfaced. And here I fucking am going out looking for your dumbass thinking _I_ was in the wrong. I'm going home." Sanji turns to go but you quickly if not awkwardly grab his hand from where you sit. You turn and adjust yourself so that you're sitting on your knees in the middle of the dark road grasping Sanji's hand with both of yours.

"Don' go." You beg quietly.

The blonde apparently feels enough pity to turn his head to look at you, and his eyes go soft. He sighs and turns completely around so that he's facing you once again. "Damn you, marimo. We're in the middle of the street. At least get on the sidewalk."

You nod feverently and move to stand, but you go to quickly and begin to lose your balance. Sanji quickly wraps an arm around your waist and straightens you. "Shit, asshole, don't fall."

Before Sanji can guide you to the sidewalk you wrap your arms around him in a fierce hug, burying your head against his shoulder. You feel tender hands against your back as Sanji folds you against him in turn. "Thought you wouldn't come for me. I screwed up."

"Yeah, you did. But I shouldn't have made you leave in the middle of the night this far from your apartment. I got worried. Now come on, let's get out of the road, okay?"

You nod and let him guide you back to the sidewalk, stumbling with him as you walk as close as possible to him. Thankfully you were starting to sober up with the emotion and the cold air. Once on the side of the road, you untangle yourself from Sanji and plop town on the edge of the sidewalk and prop your elbows on your knees so that you can drop your head into your hands.

You feel Sanji take a seat beside you with a sigh. "I'm sorry." He says quietly.

"Me too." Your words are muffled by your hands but you raise your head to speak more clearly. "I don't mean to be a- what did you call me?"

"A stone."

"I don't mean to be a stone. I just- I don't know how to show you how I feel all the time. You're the gushy one and I'm the stoic one. That's how we function. That's how we've always been." You mutter. "I thought it was working."

Sanji tucks his hair back to reveal a cigarette tucked behind his ear. He pulls it out and digs his lighter out of his pocket to light it. Once lit, he sticks the lighter back and inhales from the cigarette deeply. "Yeah," He says as he exhales. "it was for awhile. But you don't seem to realize that I want to be in this for the long haul. I'm in love with you, dumbass."

You're quiet for a long moment. "This is the part where I grow a pair and say it back, right?"

"Usually." The other man responds with a quiet laugh.

"Well. I, uh- fuck it, I love you too. Have for awhile. I wasn't raised on affection or showing how we feel or shit like that, though. To be tough I'm supposed to keep things like that to myself." You're grateful that it's too badly lit for Sanji to see how red your cheeks are.

"Toughness doesn't mean being a fucking rock emotionally." Sanji replies in a stern tone of voice. "Toughness is being able to stand up and say 'hey, shitasses, I know how to kick ass and I know what my man likes in bed.'"

A laugh bubbles out of you and Sanji throws you a grin. "I don't think that's quite how it works but you're probably near or around the ball."

You both sigh and go silent for a moment before you speak back up. "So you want to marry me is what you're saying?"

"If that's you asking then the answer is no"

"What if I ask later? I can try and be romantic about it if you want."

Flicking away his cigarette butt, Sanji stands. "We'll see. Now come on, I'm freezing my ass off out here. Let's go home."

"You mean I can come back?" You ask unsurely as you stand with him.

"No, you can sleep out here. For fuck's sake, yes, come home with me. If you love me like you're saying you do you can prove it by providing me with some damn good makeup sex." He takes your hand and leads you back to his apartment.

Grinning, you follow. "So that's how it is, huh? Only want me for my body?"

"It's a perk, marimohead. Now shut up and stop ruining the moment."

"Make me, curlybrow."

"I swear to God, I will end you."

Neither of you could bring yourselves to stop the bickering. After all, that's how it's always been.

* * *

**Author's Notes:  
**Thank you to everyone who spared a moment to read this little ficlet! I only decided to upload because it's the first thing I've written in a long while but I'm satisfied that I wrote anything at all. I know some people are iffy on the 2 POV but I've come to prefer it most of the time.

I'd be grateful to anyone who will review!


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